Maybe it’s not clarity we lack.
Maybe it’s fear of how others perceive us.
We feel God stirring in our hearts, but we talk ourselves out of it – afraid to come across as too intense, or radical, or dumb. And we definitely don’t want to be misunderstood.
But I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed because I’m convinced that I’m either not enough or maybe too much.
Proverbs says the fear of man is a snare.
Not a personality type, but a trap.
People pleasing gives an illusion of control, and chasing acceptance feels predictable. Obedience means handing all of that control over to God, which isn’t always so comfy.
Junior’s eight now, and he sets traps in the backyard. Sometimes he catches opossums.
If they don’t hiss, glare, or look like they’ve seen a demon, I may let them go.
But their demise always starts with a little morsel. Gone in a second; but the cost? Freedom. Because once they’re in the trap, that’s it, they’re unable to move much and can’t escape until we open it.
We’re not so very different.
We reach for a taste of validation, influence, reputation, whatever it is.
And before we know it, the door’s slammed shut and we feel stuck and really frustrated. All for that stale, probably gluten-free breadcrumb called human approval.
I think that somewhat describes the snare Proverbs speaks of.
Quieting our beliefs to be acceptable.
Shrinking back to avoid rejection.
Dimming this little light of mine so no one around us gets uncomfortable.
And so we don’t speak up.
Don’t have the hard conversations.
Don’t ask.
Don’t write.
Don’t befriend.
Don’t support.
Don’t risk.
Don’t do.
When God calls, He equips – just as He did with many who felt the least qualified in Scripture.
Moses had a speech impediment.
God said, “I made your mouth,” and used him to lead His people.
Gideon labeled himself the weakest.
God called him a mighty warrior, and won a battle with 300 men and no real weapons.
Esther was afraid. Speaking up could’ve cost her life. But she said, “If I perish, I perish,” and God used her to rescue His people.
Peter denied Jesus three times. He knew failure. But Jesus met him with grace, and gave him a mission.
The devil doesn’t need to destroy your calling.
He just needs to convince you to bury it.
The parable of the talents reminds us:
Burying what God gave you isn’t humble.
It’s disobedient.
God didn’t say,
“Well done, you emotionally intelligent introvert with a strong sense of self-preservation.”
He said, “You wicked and lazy servant.”
The church needs each of us prayerfully exercising our gifts, ablaze with the purpose God speaks into our souls. I write this to myself, because I’m still learning this obedience and how to trust Him with the outcomes.
So let that trap stay empty.
And let’s try not to be beige, short-sighted, spiritually constipated, emotionally fragile little critters. Because God is faithful and we are free.
